I just read your byf and I had a question about one of the bullets. What is wrong with the term SGA? Doesn’t it stand for same gender attraction?
I’m going to respond to this thoroughly because I thinkeveryone would benefit from knowing why the term is harmful and should never be used, especially in the context of ace discourse.
@ungracefulace @feministingforchange@aphobephobe @herefortheace @princaceleiaBecause I think you guys would be interested in this ?
// suicide mention, h slur mention, and homophobia and transphobia content warning
From what I understand, it’s a term coined by conversion therapists and many LGB people find it triggering.
Also, it’s not a very useful concept for some people, especially nonbinary people. Who counts as the ‘same gender’ as an enby? If you’re counting attraction to cis people who present similarly or were assigned the same, you’re misgendering the enby person. If you’re talking about attraction to other enbies, do they have to actually have the same gender, or are we treating all enbies as one gender? If they’re fluid or flux gender, do they experience same-gender attraction sometimes but not other times? If so, how much counts? Are bigender people who identify with both binary genders SGA whenever they’re attracted to any cis person? These questions also apply to binary people who are attracted to enbies, particularly if they’re not also attracted to their own binary sex. (Is a binary guy attracted to demiboys but not binary guys SGA?) Some might argue that it doesn’t matter because nonbinary people count as trans, but a) not all enbies consider themselves trans, or are comfortable identifying as trans, and b) cis people attracted to enbies still have to try to figure out the mess of what counts as SGA when a nonbinary person is involved.
In addition, a lot of m-spec people really don’t like having their attraction treated as having a ‘gay part’ and a ‘straight part’, and that often goes hand in hand with calling them SGA. Many m-spec people don’t find it meaningful to categorize what ‘kind’ of attraction they’re feeling based on the target’s gender, and it has linkages to a history of conditional acceptance and rejection from the community based on their current partner’s gender.
So it’s a slur being forced upon people uncomfortable with reclaiming it. It’s also a way of categorizing attraction that isn’t useful for everyone and is being forced upon people it doesn’t adequately describe.
In other words, the same criticisms that exclusionists apply to queer and the split attraction model apply even more so to ‘same-gender attraction’ as a label and concept.