exclusionists love to call themselves “ex-ace” or “former aroace” and act like they know anything abt being aspec bc of that but can you imagine the fucking Outcry if i called myself an “ex-lesbian” who’s “seen the light” and is “unlearning the aphobia inherent in the lesbian community” and fuckin acted like i was some kind of authority on being a lesbian & had any kind of say in lesbian issues bc of thinking i was one for some years like….holy shit……….

terfs/radfems call themselves “detransitioned trans men” or or say they used to be trans too

it’s just example #57292825302047 that REG = TERF

HONESTLY it’s so fuckin ugly… & like im fairly sure “ex-(identity)” is a term encouraged by conversion therapy as well??? so like… even referring to yourself as such is creepy as shit. not that aphobes have a history of using & normalising conversion therapy terms or anything /s

What is it about exclusionists and using conversion therapy terms? First ‘SGA’ and now this?

The logic behind exclusionism is very similar to the logic behind those who believe in conversion therapy.

You aren’t really X. X isn’t really an identity, it’s a choice. With proper training/re-education/therapy, you can stop being X and be normal.

For exclusionists, this is ace (there’s no such thing as asexuality) or bi (everyone is really either gay or straight) or non binary (everyone has a gender.) For TERFs this is transsexuality (people’s gender is defined by their genitals and you can’t be anything other than what your junk says you are). For homophobes, this is homosexuality itself (you can pray away the gay, it’s an immoral choice rather than an identity and a fundamental part of who you are.) So of course all of them believe you can be an ex-thing.

Not that that is necessarily untrue; I am more and more inclined to believe that I spent the years between puberty and the birth of my children being genderfluid, or some kind of nonbinary anyway, where I identified more as “neuter with slightly feminine characteristics” than “female”. I wasn’t like that as a child and I’m not that way now, so I suppose I could describe myself as “ex-nb”. But I don’t necessarily think of it that way. Nothing in my experience says to me that nb isn’t a thing, that people will all flow out of it the way I did and end up back in a binary gender, or that nbs should be excluded from anything. In fact my experience tells me that being an nb is valid and that if someone knew it existed (which I didn’t, at the time) and identified with it strongly enough to call themselves that across the social opprobrium of doing so, it means that they are a marginalized gender identity and it’s important to accept them because society won’t. Which is maybe why I don’t call myself ex-nb, both because I never identified as that at the time due to not knowing it was a thing, and because I’m never in a position where I’m arguing against the interests of nb people and think it gives me the moral high ground to say I used to be like them.


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