Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?
The earliest was when I was 3-4ish. I was going to a daycare in a nearby small town at the time. (One of my few clear memory of that daycare, by the way, is some kid stealing my bunnyhug – Saskatchewan word for hoodie – convinced the daycare people it was hers, and then they let her take it home even after my parents corrected them.)
This is also the time that I watched the Disney Jungle Book, and I loved Kaa the snake. Like, really, really liked it. I apparently weirded out my daycare providers the next day by going around singing “trust in me” as I bugged my eyes out.
Apart from that, the next examples I can recall are all when I was 10-12. Anti-drug education sparked an intense interest in drugs, addiction, etc, with elements showing up in my stories. ( Which, at the time, were acted out with twist tye people rather than written down.)
Around the same time, I watched a movie called Pet Shop, which featured aliens trying to kidnap human kids as pets. I began obsessively playing stories where they succeed in kidnapping kids, and the kids are trying to deal with being kidnapped by aliens. In the process, I also had a recurring character of the ‘drug addict going through withdrawal’, and also frequently had the aliens scramble the characters’ language skills, and sometimes do other messed up things to them.
I also had disability awareness education in school during the same period, which sparked an obsession with disability – paralysis, amputation and blindness mostly, but also deafness and a very rudimentary understanding of mental disabilities. I used to spend a lot of time wandering around with my eyes closed, learnt Braille and fingerspelling, rolled around on wheeled office chairs, and folded up my leg to pretend it had been amputated. I also had stories about villains kidnapping kids and giving them random disabilities, usually deafness, blindness and paralysis.
At the same time, I was being bullied very badly at school. I’d also been obsessed with Animorphs since early elementary school. So I combined the two with a fantasy about turning into a dog and mauling one of my bullies, leading him to have paralyzed arms, get bullied by his former friends, and wind up befriending me, while never finding out that I actually was the dog.