Reasons why I dislike yaoi fangirls

rottenboysclub:

just-antithings:

ouma-anti:

bmcnyc:

bittermagicalgirl:

bittermagicalgirl:

  • “Let my gays marry!!!”
  • They like to play the homophobic card every time someone says they don’t like a certain yaoi pairing.
  • Usually straight and phobic of other sexualities
  • They like to use the “good ally” card just because they like watching two anime guys do the do and talk about how hot it is.
  • “When I have kids, I hope I have a boy and I hope he is gay so I can ship him with other boys and fangirl over his relationships!!!”
  • “I ship my boyfriend with his best friend!!!”
  • Extremely disrespectful about female characters because they “get in the way of the yaoi”
  • Seemingly ignores the fact that a big majority of anime and manga that fall under the yaoi genre revolve around rape and sexual harassment… but one man saying “no” while the other continues is extremely hot so it’s ok apparently….
  • That whole thing when gay marriage became legal in the US, tons of fangirls were screaming about how their fictional gay guys could finally marry.
  • They like to invalidate trans/nonbinary characters and automatically making them male just for the sake of yaoi ships.
  • To sum it up, a majority of yaoi fangirls sexualize an entire sexuality and, by doing so, disrespect irl gay men and see them only as fanservice fodder and then turn around and act like they are the best allies ever.
  • Literally the female equivalent of dudebros that watch lesbian porn
  • “I wish I was a boy so I could be in a gay romance”
  • Those jokes about how if they see two actual gay men in real life, they want to watch them make out. 
  • Have a habit of invalidating trans men and not seeing them as actual men. 
  • seme/uke stereotypes
  • Quite a few are apparently those “I am not like other girls” types
  • Anything that involves two gay men is automatically called “yaoi”
  • “Stop kinkshaming us” 
  • “Oh my gosh I am watching an anime with two guys kissing I am so dirty!”
  • Overall have a very unrealistic view of gay men

@ the people who tried to tell me fujoshis r ok

“i wish i was a boy so i could be gay!!!” you and your shit fetish is ruining the already horrible lives of gay trans men. hope yall rot.

Just Anti Things: I too enjoy employing misogynistic stereotypes that are so outdated it’s not even funny. are y’all’s computers stuck buffering in 2007 or something?

@rottenboysclub if I had to read this bullshit so do you

Anyway, I’m going to do a run-by of the points:

  • “Let my gays marry!!!”

Not specific to fujoshi. This phrase in particular was common in western slash fandom but was thankfully left behind in 2012.

  • They like to play the homophobic card every time someone says they don’t like a certain yaoi pairing.

Again, not specific to fujoshi. I’ve seen plenty of “If you don’t like this pairing you’re a homophobe/lesbophobe” from people of all genders and sexualities.

  • Usually straight and phobic of other sexualities

Not true. According to various surveys approx 50% of fujoshi interviewed id-ed as something other than cishet, and those were just the ones who were out.

  • They like to use the “good ally” card just because they like watching two anime guys do the do and talk about how hot it is.

While reading comics doesn’t make someone an ally, you’re aware that people can like BL + slash and also be an ally, right? They’re not mutually exclusive.

  • “When I have kids, I hope I have a boy and I hope he is gay so I can ship him with other boys and fangirl over his relationships!!!”

This was another embarrassing phrase from western slash fandom that I haven’t seen used unironically since I was in high school.

  • “I ship my boyfriend with his best friend!!!”

See above. This was mostly said in jest, but people can be polyamarous and there’s nothing wrong with that imho.

  • Extremely disrespectful about female characters because they “get in the way of the yaoi”

More of an issue of societal misogyny in general, and usually not an issue with BL as the mxm pairings are canon. Again, this is a thing more to do with slash fandom and non-canon ships, and not as common as it used to be a decade ago.

  • Seemingly ignores the fact that a big majority of anime and manga that fall under the yaoi genre revolve around rape and sexual harassment… but one man saying “no” while the other continues is extremely hot so it’s ok apparently….

This is more to do with how erotica is portrayed in Japan in general, as you can find this a lot in mxf and fxf stories as well. Ravishment fantasies are super, super common, and it says more about how a particular culture sees sex and sexuality than anything else – in more sexually open cultures, for example, you’re likely to not see as many of those types of fantasies as you would in a culture like Japan where PDA is taboo and even holding hands or saying that you like your husband or wife is considered embarrassing.

That being said, there’s plenty of BL that’s 100% consensual.

  • That whole thing when gay marriage became legal in the US, tons of fangirls were screaming about how their fictional gay guys could finally marry.

Again, this was an embarrassing western slash fandom thing, mostly said by closeted people and younger teenagers, but it was back in 2012.

  • They like to invalidate trans/nonbinary characters and automatically making them male just for the sake of yaoi ships.

This isn’t limited to fujoshi – I actually tend to see it more where people will make a nonbinary or nongendered character female for mxf or fxf pairings. Blame societal transphobia for this one.

  • To sum it up, a majority of yaoi fangirls sexualize an entire sexuality and, by doing so, disrespect irl gay men and see them only as fanservice fodder and then turn around and act like they are the best allies ever.

You can’t sexualize a sexuality. Simply reading or writing slash isn’t inherently objectifying – They only disrespect real gay men like myself if they are actually harassing gay men irl.

  • Literally the female equivalent of dudebros that watch lesbian porn

No, it’s really not. Though I don’t think men watching porn of two women is inherently a bad thing either. It’s only if said guy harasses actual lesbians irl that he’s doing wrong.

  • “I wish I was a boy so I could be in a gay romance”

A lot of eggy trans boys do actually say stuff like “I wish I was a boy so I could X” because they don’t have the vocab to explain how they feel about their gender identity.  So maybe be a little more accepting of questioning youths? Just a thought.

  • Those jokes about how if they see two actual gay men in real life, they want to watch them make out.

Yeah, it’s a little annoying, but I’ve dealt with women who’ve said this before – I tell them how it’s objectifying and makes me feel uncomfortable as a gay man, and, from my experience, they tend to apologise and try not to say that sort of thing again.

  • Have a habit of invalidating trans men and not seeing them as actual men.

Not specific to fujoshi. Again, this is societal transphobia at work.

  • seme/uke stereotypes

I still have yet to understand this one. Us real gay men have preferences, there’s nothing wrong with preferring to top or to bottom. Just look at the vocabulary we use wrt preferences for domming, subbing, topping, bottoming and switching. There’s crossovers with fandom terminology into real life gay communities.

  • Quite a few are apparently those “I am not like other girls” types

You mean like fujoshi who claim they’re not fujoshi because they only ship “pure” ships and try to distance themselves from other fangirls by writing ridiculous straw-man lists? 🤔

  • Anything that involves two gay men is automatically called “yaoi”

Historically, the label of “yaoi” has been misused by westerners, but more and more people nowadays will call it BL, or, in western circles “mlm”. Nowadays, if someone insists on using “yaoi” instead of BL, I tend to assume that they’re either young, or that they’re an anti that believes Japan has an entire demographic of comics created by cishet women and dedicated to objectifying gay men. (it doesn’t. And that’s not what yaoi is, or BL for that matter.)

  • “Stop kinkshaming us”

This isn’t a fujoshi thing.

  • “Oh my gosh I am watching an anime with two guys kissing I am so dirty!”

“I’m a woman that is doing something that involves sex and romance but not for the benefit of my husband” – These ‘sinning’-type jokes are a poke against misogyny and purity culture. They’re also seen wrt het and femslash works, as well as non-fandom stuff, so it’s not specific to fujoshi.

  • Overall have a very unrealistic view of gay men

Ideally people shouldn’t be learning how real life gay men work from cartoons, but the fact is that a lot of these peoples first exposure to LGBT+ culture will be through fictional media. HOWEVER, that doesn’t make the fictional media bad for being unrealistic – it’s more the failure of society for not providing enough NON-fictional works about famous LGBT+ people and our history. Rather than blaming comics which aren’t intended to be realistic in the first place, we should be focusing on making sure that children and teens have access to information regarding queer history, role-models of different sexualities and genders, protection from harassment regarding sexual orientation, gender identity, and intersex or transgender status, and so on..

I’ve personally only seen “sinning” type talk from kinky people fantasizing about their kinks. (Eg “I wanna see [character] desperate to pee. I’m [character] omo trash.”)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.