my current addiction is watching documentaries with/about babies and i hate it a lot

My advice is to make a list of the things in your life that would need to change for you to feel ready to be a parent, and figure out a plan for how to deal with each of these things.

Three years ago, when I was 26, I was feeling depressed because I want a kid so badly and I felt like I’d never be ready. So I made a list of what I needed to change, with items like:

  • I needed to have fewer and less severe meltdowns.
  • I needed to figure out where my kid would live, and get better at independent living skills.
  • I needed at least $2,000 in savings, to be spent on childcare essentials, and a plan for making more money in the future.

At the time, my plan was to aim for getting everything ready in time to start trying to conceive when I turned 30. I turned each of these into concrete subgoals, like meditating a certain amount of times and finishing the tasks in my DBT workbook for the first item; or earning a certain amount of XP in a real-life RPG game by doing daily living tasks for the second one.

Now I’m 29 and I’ve almost got everything ready, and I’m confident that I’ll be able to start trying to conceive next year.

omg congrats! and good luck too!

my biggest problem is that I don’t really know if I definitely want to be a parent in the long-term. I just end up with random “NEED CHILD NOW” thoughts for like a week or two at a time, and I’d want to be sure I actually want one forever. 😛 it helps that I’m still only 23 though because when I keep it logical, I don’t want a baby at this age D;

in comparison, the whole asexual issue seems much easier to deal with when I get there so hey, i can at least try keeping it positive lol

I wasn’t sure when I was 23, either. But by 26 I was sure. Obviously you’re not me so who knows if it’ll go the same?

One of my close friends, when she was 23 she was unsure, and now she’s decided she definitely doesn’t want kids herself, but does want to be an elementary school teacher so she can “borrow other people’s kids temporarily”. So that’s another thing to consider, whether you’d like to work with kids instead of having one.

Thanks for the congratulations, by the way. You made me smile.


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