ME TOO. >_<
Like, okay, I do actually enjoy the thing I call meditation – although I can’t currently do it, which pisses me off! – but assuming that you are talking about the mindfulness that everyone pushes so hard, yeah.
I mean, I think the idea is that people get too far into their thoughts and could benefit from taking a step back? And sure, maybe that works for neurotypicals, but if you are chronically dissociative that’s maybe not the best idea. (Plus, I find a lot of rhetoric about mindfulness to be really dismissive of problems – which, if you don’t have problems and you’re just irrationally worried about flowers, fine! But if you actually do have chronic real problem, it’s very frustrating for people to be like ‘just let go…. nothing matters if you don’t let it….’.)
I really second the warning about dissociation and mindfulness.
I’ve found mindfulness really useful for me, but every so often, it sets off dissociative symptoms. I deal with this by avoiding meditation with too heavy an emphasis on noticing body sensations and by taking a break to get myself back to reality if I start dissociating. But my dissociative symptoms are pretty mild in general, so I could see it being a much bigger issue for someone else.
I get the urge to shout it from the rooftops when you find something that really works for you. I wish I’d tried mindfulness years ago, because it’s enabled me to do things that I thought I’d never be capable of. (Specifically, I can now sometimes catch myself on the path to a meltdown and meditate to avert said meltdown. Before then, nothing would stop that feeling until I had the meltdown.) But other people are not me, and one person’s miracle epiphany can be useless or counterproductive for someone else.