fetishes seem to be a mostly male phenomenon. i’ve never seen a female devote their life to a fetish, require it for pleasure, or become addicted to it. if they have, please feel free to show me because i want to see.

but the number of males with fetishes and the number of males who are so depended on these fetishes frankly fucking disgusts me. why males? i want to know.

but here are a few questions for thought:

  • are fetishes natural and should we have them?
  • is it wrong to try and rid someone of fetishes?
  • will a fetish always be harmful to the fetish haver?


(context: i’m currently in a relationship with a boy with a fat fetish. he abstained from using all porn and media relating to it, and all porn in general actually which is great. he can ignore it till the cows come home, but at the end of the day, he’s still attracted to fat and it makes me feel sick to the point where i’ve possibly developed an eating disorder. don’t tell me to leave, this is a complicated situation. how does he get rid of it?)

*Points to self* I’m a woman with a fetish.

Have you considered getting counseling?

Your boyfriend has gone above and beyond, essentially denying his sexuality for you (and yes, it is a sexuality, not an addiction, and it’s not harmful as long as the person chooses appropriate ways to express it).

And yet the mere thought that he’s into that is affecting you so badly you’re getting an eating disorder. I don’t think he’s the one who needs help.

It’s not a mentally healthy thing to be obsessing over your partner’s sexuality so much that it makes you literally sick. This is hurting you, and probably hurting him, too. (I know it would hurt me very much if my partner felt this way about my fetishes.)


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